Celebrating Effort, Not Just Results: Building Confidence in Teenagers
Exam season has come to an end, some much-needed respite has been taken, and hopefully a few celebrations have occured along the way too. Celebrating is integral to acknowledging and recognising all the hard work and effort, but also to keep the momentum and encouragement going in the lead up to – and after - results day.
The effort your teenager puts in is ultimately up to them, but it’s important to remember that their results can be influenced by various external factors. Anxiety and stress affect many students, as does the level of support and encouragement they receive from family and friends. A lack of support can leave students feeling discouraged and isolated.
What matters most is that they try their best. Putting in effort not only reflects their commitment but also helps develop valuable life skills such as motivation, self-awareness, confidence, problem-solving, and emotional regulation. It encourages a growth mindset and builds resilience that will benefit them far beyond their school years.
Focusing only on the result can lead to a fear of failure, which can later lead to them avoiding challenges. This can be very discouraging for teenagers and cause anxiety and low self-esteem. Remind them that the result doesn’t define them and make them feel proud of what they have completed and where they are now. You can show you’re proud by expressing your happiness and excitement to them and by reminding them of the amazing job they did and how much effort they put into their exams!
Celebrating effort will help them feel proud of themselves and see the value of putting in the effort for their exams. It encourages them to continue trying even when things are tough.
To help build confidence, praise the strategies they used and celebrate their perseverance. Acknowledging the effort, they put in and how hard they have worked will encourage them and help them feel confident in themselves.
Use positive language such as, “You’re so smart!” or “You work so hard! Well done.” to help give them that extra boost of confidence they may need to feel better.
During this time, make sure that they understand that celebrating their effort doesn’t mean the results aren’t important or do not matter, help them reflect on what they have learnt throughout the process.
Having recently spoken with Jessica, now 18, she told explained to us how the wait for her exam results when she was 16, was a daunting and stressful time for her. The results felt years away, and failure was always at the forefront of her mind.
Her parents helped her by encouraging her with positive comments and reminders of how hard she had worked over the years. On days where she was feeling down and losing confidence about her results, her parents distracted her with reminders of how hard she had worked and that she had done her absolute best! There was always the reminder that it is never the end of the world and there are options for everybody no matter the result.
On results day she was proven right by her parents and her hard work and perseverance had paid off, but she wouldn’t have gotten through the waiting period without the encouragement and confidence being reinforced during the lead up to getting her results.
Reminding your teen that the effort and work they have put in is important and celebrating that means so much more to them than you would think, it gives them the courage and motivation to keep on going!
Building up your teen's confidence includes praise but also understanding their feelings and giving them the encouragement to try and continue putting in effort whenever there is a challenge.
Make sure you’re doing these things for your teen during this time and remind them about how well they have done and all their hard work!
